Coaching: From Shame to Freedom – A Holistic Journey to Healing

Shame and guilt are emotions that can quietly run our lives, but there is a way to move from shame to freedom. As a holistic therapist (Acupuncture, Massage, Tai Chi, Qigong, Coaching), I integrate ancient healing techniques with modern coaching to help you release those heavy burdens. This article will explore how holistic coaching can assist you in overcoming shame, so the pain can transform into empowerment, offering you a gentle, compassionate path to emotional freedom.

How Does Shame Affect Your Life and Well-Being?

Shame is a deeply ingrained emotion, often showing up as feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. Whether triggered by past mistakes, societal pressures, or internalized judgment, shame can weigh us down, keeping us trapped in harmful patterns of thought and behavior.

When I began my own journey of self-compassion, I realized how much shame had been quietly shaping my life. I thought I had cleared most of the debris, but during the past year, I had to acknowledge that some of my core beliefs still carried the heavy burden of shame. Once I started addressing how I related to myself and my environment, I began to experience lightness and freedom in my own life.

How Can Online Coaching Help You Overcome and Release Shame?

One of the most effective ways to work through shame is by acknowledging and accepting it for what it is. This may sound counterintuitive, but getting closer to the discomfort is key. In coaching, we create a safe and accepting environment. Gently embracing our vulnerabilities helps us to let those shameful parts come to light. You don’t have to carry that weight forever.

Just as in Tai Chi or Qigong, where you embrace discomfort to release it, coaching helps you engage with these emotions in a safe way. Together, we identify where the stuck energy lies—those “anchors” that have held you down for years.

What Is Radical Self-Compassion, and How Can It Help Overcome Shame?

Radical compassion is an essential tool in the healing process. It involves offering complete self-acceptance (Maitri, in the Buddhist traditions) and kindness to yourself, especially to the parts of you that you may not like or feel most vulnerable. It’s about meeting your shame with curiosity, not judgment.

I used to struggle with perfectionism, which was deeply rooted in shame. I thought that if I didn’t perform perfectly, I wasn’t worthy. Through practising radical self-compassion, I began to accept those parts of me that felt ashamed. I even gave my inner critical judge a name—the ‘shamer’—to soften the relationship with it. Think of the “Shame Bell” scene from Game of Thrones. By embracing my imperfections, I was able to release unrealistic expectations and feel a deeper sense of freedom.

How Can Chinese Medicine Support Emotional Healing and Release Shame?

Chinese Medicine, with its ancient wisdom, offers an almost magical (yet widely researched) approach to addressing emotions like shame and guilt. In Chinese philosophy, emotions are connected to different organs in the body. For example, shame is often linked to an imbalance in the Liver, Heart, and Kidney energy.

By addressing specific organs and meridians, Chinese Medicine works to restore balance in the whole person—body, mind, and spirit—releasing stuck emotions that may have shaped your personality over time.

Would you like to read more about how Acupuncture and Acupressure can help with shame? [Click here to learn more about emotional healing through Chinese Medicine.]

How Can Qigong and Tai Chi Help Build Self-Confidence and Heal Shame?

Both Qigong and Tai Chi are gentle, yet appropriately challenging, forms of movement that focus on unity. These practices integrate the body and mind, leading to an increasing quality of stillness and harmony. Over time, this helps form a deeper sense of self-confidence and creates a more compassionate relationship with oneself.

Certain Qigong exercises are also immensely helpful in balancing internal organs, directly addressing emotional imbalances. I often suggest these practices in my coaching sessions to enhance the release of shame by engaging the body and breath. It’s not about becoming an expert—it’s about creating a safe space to practice compassion and acceptance while remaining open and reflective.

How Does Coaching Help Break Negative Coping Mechanisms Like Perfectionism and Avoidance?

Many of us develop maladaptive coping strategies to avoid discomfort, including shame. These strategies might include perfectionism, avoidance, addiction, or self-sabotage. Coaching provides a space where we explore these coping mechanisms, understand why they formed, and develop healthier ways of dealing with life’s challenges.

For example, one of my clients used to be avoidant in expressing themselves to their parents. This avoidance was a shield, protecting them from vulnerability. Once they understood this, they were able to develop new habits, deepen their connection with their parents, and create a sense of compassion for their own needs and emotions.

Why Is Practicing Self-Compassion Essential for Healing Shame?

Self-compassion is the foundation for healing from shame. It’s the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend or loved one. This can be difficult, especially if you’ve been your own harshest critic for a long time.

In our coaching sessions, we work to build your “muscles of compassion.” You’ll learn to soften your inner dialogue, forgive yourself for mistakes, and embrace your imperfections. This daily practice will help counteract the harsh inner critic that often fuels shame.

We’ll also explore the core beliefs and perceptions that contribute to your inner critique, helping you see the world—and yourself—with more clarity.

How Can Coaching Help You Embrace Your Authentic Self and Heal Emotionally?

Coaching is an adventure of self-discovery, not just a way to fix what’s wrong. It’s about finding healthier ways to be fully present and take up your rightful space in the world. It’s about discovering the hidden parts of yourself that shame has buried.

I often see a pattern where people feel they must hide parts of themselves because they don’t feel “good enough.” The truth is, when we fully embrace our shadow sides, they dissolve, leaving behind gems we can use to help ourselves and others.

How Does Holistic Coaching Differ from Traditional Therapy in Overcoming Shame?

Traditional therapy often focuses on talking through problems to understand the whys. Holistic coaching integrates mind, body, and spirit to help discover the what’s, that can bring about meaningful change.

In our sessions, we won’t just talk about shame. We’ll explore how it impacts your body, energy, and daily life. Practices like meditation, movement, reflective writing, and energy work will support your healing journey in a practical and empowering way.

How Can You Start Your Journey to Overcome Shame and Find Emotional Freedom?

Letting go of shame is a journey, but you don’t have to take it alone. In our holistic coaching sessions, we’ll co-create a space where you can feel safe to explore your emotions, release what no longer serves you (overcoming shame), and step into a more empowered version of yourself.

When I first began my healing journey, I didn’t realize how much support I needed. Today, as I continue working through the remnants of my shame with the help of others, I’m finding freedom in ways I never thought possible.

Ready to start Overcoming Shame and Step Into Freedom with Holistic Coaching?

If you’re ready to release shame and embrace a life of compassion, joy, and freedom, I invite you to explore coaching with me. Together, we’ll work to create a life where you feel empowered, whole, and inspired for the future.

Do you have any questions or feel ready to rumble? [Click here to contact me for more information about coaching sessions.]

I thought to share a few stories from my clinic so you can have a better understanding of what Acupuncture can help with. As well as to provide a gentle introduction to how it works.
Relief for constipation and other bowel issues is a remarkable and frequent outcome of such treatments.

Over the years I am starting to figure out that the body is truly amazing. It really is a wonderful ‘machinery’ that often needs only a little nudge in order to recover. As long as one has sufficient vital substances – Blood, Qi and Essence (talk about those in a later post) – it will recover rather quickly.

When it comes to treating bowel issues such as constipation, diarrhoea, inflammation and such Acupuncture can have a quick reliving effect – whilst it may take longer to re-establish proper internal harmony in case of chronic conditions.

One of my clients came to me recently complaining about the inability to empty their bowels properly for almost a week. Although their main complaint was different, something like this can often be incorporated into the treatment.

I used a combination of 2 points located on the Stomach channel, whilst other points were used to support the underlying conditions.

The acu-point, Stomach 37 was needled and gently stimulated. This is a point which has a strong effect on the bowels through the connection of the digestive organs of the Stomach and the Large Intestine, which is mainly responsible for the appropriate elimination and further absorption of nutrients.
As you can read in the other article -click on the link above-, it is also a majorly useful point to generally assist IBS and it’s related symptoms.

I also used acupressure on Stomach 25 which has been observed to have a very strong effect on the Intestines. Via the aforementioned connection, this point is able to strengthen and enhance the natural function of the Stomach and Spleen, which is responsible for the transportaion and transformation of nutrients.

Although I worked fairly gently on these points, the client reported having a ‘big clear-out’ the same day.

Of course, no 2 people have the exact same needs. The beauty of Chinese Medicine lies in its ability to show what needs to be done for the person in front of us in that given moment.

Sometimes the body only needs a few gentle yet precise inputs in order to start making steps towards equilibrium.

Creating and giving life is one of the most beautiful achievements in life.
However – as it’s the case with most achievement – it also comes with a fair amount of pain, dedication and hard work. Did you know that Acupuncture can help not only to easy pain and discomfort during pregnancy but also to induce labour?

Acupuncture and Acupressure has long been used to manage ‘side effects’ of pregnancy and to induce labour when it is over the due date. Here is a short article on it.

Although I do not specialize in maternity acupuncture, I did have the pleasure of inducing labor for a kind client of mine recently.

Pregnancy is a very complex journey that requires plenty of support from your environment, family, professionals and your own believes.

There are so many requirements for a successful childbirth.

1. The First Container.
As a mother, one of the most important tasks during pregnancy is to treat your body as a temple. To prepare and create the sacred grounds which will prepare you for one of the most wonderful and difficult tasks of life. The body is the first container.

2. The Second Container
Although your body may be ready. You may even start having contractions. However the new life, the baby also needs to feel the safety and joy of her mother.
It is important to let go of fears, unnecessary expectations and to truly feel the joy and trust in the process. Thus, the heart-mind is the second container.

3. The New life
Once the First and Second container is ready, it is up to the new soul to make their move.
Of course I am sure there are many more factors that I am ignorant of. However life is really about alignments and effort. We need to put in the effort into manifesting our dreams. However we also cannot rush the comings and goings of life.
Whether we call it “God’s mysterious ways” or the natural unfolding of the Dao, the baby is going to be ready when it is their time. Trust the process and surround yourself with people who are able to help you walk through this deep process.

Where does Acupuncture come into the picture?

Acupuncture can support the Mother during pregnancy and even prior to conception to prepare both the body and the mind for this sacred journey.

Needles and heath therapy (moxibustion) can be used to balance the body, nourish fertility, reduce unpleasant symptoms of pregnancy (bloating, nausea, mood changes, cramps, etc) and also to naturally induce labour when the time is ready.

Or rather, prepare the Containers so the environment is optimal and welcoming for this new life to join us here on Earth.

Even though I have only played a tiny part in this life’s birth, it still filled me with joy.
So please do get in touch if you or someone you know may need additional support on this beautiful journey.

The ancient Sages/Shamans who were practicing Chinese medicine, strongly believed that the climatic, environmental factors have a strong effect on us humans.

They differentiated 6 climatic factors, which they also called the ‘6 Evils’. Because they understood that excessive climatic factors can lead to disease.
Although the Sages did not have technology and Science, yet they were much wiser than people nowadays. They understood that they have to live in harmony with nature, the changing of seasons and Qi (energy).
They were also aware of that ‘Evil Qi’ only attacks people if their immune system (Protective qi) is deficient due to disease of poor lifestyle.

Chinese Medicine also has an understanding of the seasons according to the 5 Phases (some people call them elements) which are not only a representation of they climatic factors, but also our internal organs and much more.

We are currently moving away from Fire (Summer) into Earth (Late Summer) phase. Which means that the major climatic factors currently are ‘Summer Heath’ and ‘Dampness’ (please read my previous article describing Dampness in regards to Diet).

Heat is a simple concept. The hot weather makes us sluggish, sweaty, tired and possibly irritated.

So what can we do about it?

1. Cold drinks – No No

First off: although I looove and iced latte (with oat milk of course) in Summer, I also understand what a bad choice it is. Introducing cold internally actually harms our digestive system (Earth) which is meant to provide us with metabolic Fire. It does not only brings cold (and Dampness) into the digestive tract, it also cools down the Lungs (Metal).

The Lungs are responsible for managing the pores and thus keeping them open when needed. Drinking an icy cold drink cools down the Lungs, which in return closes our pores and may actually pull in the External heath even further into the body.

It is well known that perspiration cools down the body. Open pores allow sweat to be released. The body releases heath through the sweat, which in return further cools down the body. Isn’t that what we want?

2. Hot drinks and spicy food

Instead of ice, try some spice!
Having a moderate amount of spice in our diet as well as some hot tea will actually help to keep the pores open and to cool down the body quicker. Green tea is especially good as it has a cooling quality.

Of course make sure not eat too spicy, as you do not want to fight heat with fire.

3. Keep hydrated, right?

Yes! But also no.
Drinking plenty of fluids is useful as we loose a lot through sweating. However the body receives most of its hydration from the food we consume.
Thus eating plenty of fruits, vegetables, and the least processed foods (raw, gently stir-fried) are the best to be consumed at this time.

4. Diet, diet, diet

Diet is not just about what you eat. It is also about when, in what environment, how much and so on.
It is best not to overeat in summer and also to avoid heavy, oily food. Try to have light meals. However also pay attention to your own digestive system. Some people with weaker digestion may not benefit from too much fruit and cold/raw food. Keep attention!

5. Exercise

Exercise should be minimal and it should be avoided in the peak hours 11-2 pm.
The heart is already more challenged by the heath, which dilates the blood vessels and thus lowers the blood pressure. Which in return often spikes up the heart rate.

On the other hand, doing Qigong exercises -specifically working on the Heart and Digestive region- can be extremely helpful. It helps to release excessive ‘Heat’ qi by gently opening up the body (joints, tendons, muscles) and relax the mind (to keep it relaxed).

6. Waking early

Waking up with the first light, followed by some meditation is an excellent way to follow the natural rhythm. Likewise, it is appropriate to go to bad later. Which should be not much later than sunset.

7. Detox

As the weather is now in the Earth Phase (Yang Earth according to Chines Astrology), it is an especially good time to balance the excess in our digestive system with some form of detox.

When I say detox I do not mean any special diet. Simply taking off the load from the digestive tract. Leaving all the ice-cream, fried foods, alcohol, sugar, ultra-processed ingredients behind. Having a bland meal maybe once a day or once a week already helps to take a load off from our Stomach and Spleen

We can also do some intermittent fasting (if that is suitable for you personally) or to do an even gentler fast where we drink nourishing herbal tea instead of a meal (preferably dinner).

According to my very kind teacher (Anita Eredics), it is a perfect time to drink Mint (which is cooling and calming for the digestive system), Lavender (calming for the mind and cleansing for the bowels) and Calendula (reduces inflammation, clears heat and tonifies our Earth organs).

8. Meditation

Although the qi has started to descend, the environment is still very hot. Thus the qi has a tendency to rise to the head and get stuck there. Which may result in headaches, absent mindedness, floaty sensation, irritability, anxiety and insomnia.

We can counterbalance it with simple daily meditations where we bring our focus back into our body. Sitting and focusing on your lower abdomen (for man) and your heart centre (for the ladies) even for 5-10 minutes daily can help to centre ourselves

9. Astrology

According to the Earthly branches of Chinese Astrology we are currently in Yang Metal (Monkey) which represents reaping the fruits of our labor/year and slowly bringing our focus down back to the body.

Thus it is a great time to enjoy holidays. To relax and bring our focus back onto ourselves.

It is especially a good time to implement mental detox and meditation into our daily habits. As the energetics of the month and the year are opposing each other. Which, being supplemented by the monthly associated hexagram of I Ching (12, Pi, Blockage), further warns us about possible confusion and disorder in our lives.

Therefore, meditation and finding our centre is strongly encouraged.

I have a confession to make. I am a little bit in love with yawning. And it is not because I promote stuck energy for people. Rather the opposite.

I find yawning a widely misunderstood concept. Yes, it does bring more oxygen to the brain when it is needed. However people don’t only yawn when they are tired or bored.

If you have been to my Qigong/Tai chi classes, there is a very high chance that you have seen me yawning more than once. No, it’s not because I am bored of my own classes 😀

In Chinese medicine frequent yawning is often seen as a symptom of Qi constraint (energy failing to move freely in the body).

Now this is true, however the action of yawning is actually a “process” to relieve tension and constraint. It is a natural body mechanism. The action of yawning has an ability to release the diaphragm, which is often overly tight for most people. Whether that is because of unresolved trauma, excessive stress or postural imbalances, digestive issues etc.

A relaxed/healthy diaphragm is essential for the optimum movement and dispersion of Qi within the body. Which is initiated via the Lung and Liver organ axis.

Moreover, yawning is not only a process but also an important sign. A sign that the nervous system is becoming relaxed. Indicating active parasympathetic (rest and digest) or Ventral-vagal (social engagement) states of the central nervous system. In lay terms, if someone starts yawning whilst talking to you, It probably means that they feel relaxed enough in your presence so that they need not to be in a fight flight state.

In conclusion, yawning is something that I love to see and encourage in my classes and practice.

Let’s yawn away all that stress and anxiety 🙂

Let me know if you are interested in practices that help to release pent up emotions, stress and tightness in the body.

In general, I have always held the belief that expectations are perfect, fertile ground for disappointment and therefore suffering.
However, they are part of our daily lives. They help us orientate ourselves and provide a sense of safety in regards to what is happening around us and to us. They can be useful coping tools to deal with stress and uncertainty. However, they (can) also pose as barriers to personal development.
Thus managing expectations is a crucial part of our lives.

It is very important to differentiate between goals, plans, and expectations.

Goals provide targets and direction. They are extremely important and also great for our health.

Plans are slightly more detailed goals with variations. Where we invest a good amount of mental energy into developing an image, a mental structure that we aim to achieve.

The main difference between the last two and expectations is ‘Attachment’.
Attachment brings inflexibility. It reduces our perception of the present -which is now based on our past- and it provides a false picture of our future.

Whether we attach ourselves to people, beliefs, expectations and so on. All we do is create a false sense of safety whilst reducing our own freedom to act and live in accordance with nature.
Which is ever-changing and ever-transforming. Unexpected and beautiful.

Now dear Reader, how is this relevant to you?

In my humble opinion, expectations are one of the biggest hurdles in the healing journey. For both the practitioner and the client.

Healing has a clear goal. But reaching, or rather maintaining health is not a linear journey.
As a practitioner, my goal is always going to be to ease your suffering. However, if I attach myself to an immediate goal -expectation- I will break the connection to the present, the present version of you.

Likewise, as a patient, it is important for you to understand that healing is a never ending journey. But that does not mean you will need a practitioner by your side for the whole length of it. Actually, you will meet a lot of different people, who will play many different roles -often in an unexpected way.

So if expectations create a false sense of safety, how can we attain safety?

First off, true safety can only exist internally. With the increasing experience of the recent pandemic and war going on, it is hopefully becoming easier to understand that external safety is a mirage.
We can spend our whole life building it, and it can disappear in a matter of hours or even seconds.

Safety comes from building a nourishing, warm, safe environment within ourselves. Our minds, our hearts, our souls – use any terminology that is aligned with your spiritual/religious beliefs.

We can only affect the hear and now. We can only claim this immediate space, this immediate moment. The only thing we truly have power over is our response to internal and external stimuli. So, let’s work on that wisely.

How are you managing expectations?

Ps: As always, these are just my personal thoughts. My personal truth. I respect everyone’s subjective truth and I am also humbled by the knowledge that there are many more advanced players on this planet. Playing the game of life and consciousness.